It happened to be New Years...

For a while now Chris and I have been planning to take a day or so to do some serious thinking. We have been trying to discern the direction that our lives should be going in the near future. We want to make sure that we are giving a good amount of consideration to this decision (or decisions I should say) because we are obviously not interested in blindly making a choice AND because we don't want to decide based only on our own desires/feelings. We want to be listening for and hearing God's heart more than anything.

It is so easy to just try to be comfortable wherever we are, and even though that is sometimes a temptation for us, we know that we would not be fulfilled by living that life.

We both have personal convictions regarding our need to be expressing the love of Jesus to people in need - to those who lack necessities to meet basic needs for living, those who are overlooked, and those who need to experience a relationship that recognizes their own value and worth. We want to do this wherever we are.

We know that it is Christ's love that we desire to display - whether we do it well or not - and we have realized that we will not be satisfied or fulfilled in this life unless we are following this desire .

Having said that, it obviously wouldn't make much sense for us to make a decision without seeking the will of the one who has shown us what this love even is in the first place.

A friend of Chris's sent us an evaluation with some very detailed questions that he has asked himself when he has been in the midst of life changing decisions. It is extremely well thought out and very helpful. (I don't know if he got the general idea from somewhere else or if he thought it out himself, but I honestly think the process could be published because it really is a great tool, but that is beside the point).

It just so happened that the next time both of us had a little break from work without anything else planned was New Years Eve and Day. Ironic, since most people choose that day to make decisions regarding their personal lives. We didn't plan it that way on purpose, but it's kind of cool that it worked out that way.

So we headed to Charleston for an overnight mini retreat.

I share this with you to ask for prayer. We are really thankful to have had the opportunity to start the process off well but we still have A LOT of continual thinking and discerning and praying to do, and we would really appreciate it if you could remember us.

Part of the difficulty we are having is that we feel the need and pull to follow these callings - but it's not there is a list of options lined up for us and all we have to do is choose.

Even if we decided that we need to be somewhere else - we don't have any idea where that somewhere else could be. That makes it hard to feel like we can really make any decisions. We know that trusting God to provide the opportunities is vital, it's just hard to feel like you are really deciding anything when nothing is final. BUT, we do hope that we are preparing ourselves for whenever the right opportunity does present itself and it may be that is all we can do at this point. We also need patience (I am NOT a patient person) because we really feel ready to make some changes.

We would appreciate your prayers because as routine as it may sound for christians to be seeking Gods will - it is much easier said than done when you are talking about making yourselves willing to be placed into literally ANY situation that would serve God most.

Chris and I are both practical people - we like to be prepared for things and to have a clear plan. We know that we need to release these needs in some ways because it very well could be that where God wants us is a situation that would not allow us to save money for our future children or own a house or be financially secure in any way. Some of you may have already allowed yourselves to be used in that type of situation, so it might not seem like such a stretch to you. Others of you, like us, might struggle with this decision.

Chris and I have both spent lots of time in some challenging financial situations growing up, so the thought of continuing that trend is scary to us to say the least. It is a trust issue, but as Chris has mentioned in his blog before - it's hard to decide where the line is between your duty to provide for your family and your call to spend your life in ministry. Now - we don't honestly think there is a line there.

We know that God will provide for us - or at least it's easy to SAY that you know that and HOPE that you know that - because you are SUPPOSED to know that, but that doesn't free you up to make reckless decisions, right?

I will be honest and say that what we really don't know is where the line is between using your head to make good decisions to be a good steward without being a burden to others, and forgetting that and seeking only to do ministry because it is your purpose/desire.

(By the way - anyone who finds themselves in the middle of discerning life changes (or anything for that matter) should try Lectio Divina if you don't already. It really helps to focus your thoughts and soak your mind in scripture in a personal way.)

Anyway, there is a little glimpse into our thoughts these days.

As I said - we need prayer, help us out please! ;)

Hope everyone had a great Christmas and New Years!